I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
