return my video game
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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