Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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