he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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