hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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