I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
