Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
