There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
