i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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