oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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