You just made me feel so damn special
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
