Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
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