I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
