dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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