I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Randomize
