Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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