yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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