I heard we made out
oh god the rape fog is back!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize