I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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