What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
my nose is crying tears of wow.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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