walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
