where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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