Christians are straight up FREAKS
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
