so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
