There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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