ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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