The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
