I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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