I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
