why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
