Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
