remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
