a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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