There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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