Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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