I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
