I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Randomize
