I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
