Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
