Where is the hickey?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
