I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
