did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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