4 words: hood of his car
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize