I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
