I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
