dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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