So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
