I just made out with a guy for $7.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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