Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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