she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
