Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
