Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
