are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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