Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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